


You're the Hero

by fallingleaves



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry doesn't wanna talk about it, Eddie's a good boyfriend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 11:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4057777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingleaves/pseuds/fallingleaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The scars are paper thin and white, and the first time Eddie notices them, it feels like someone has just punched him in the gut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're the Hero

**Author's Note:**

> So um, in case you didn't see the tags... or the summary... WARNING: self harm (it's a happy ending I promise - and only referenced)

             The scars are paper thin and white, and the first time Eddie notices them, it feels like someone has just punched him in the gut.

            “Barry,” he said.

            Barry looked up at him lazily, smiling.  “Yeah?”

            But Eddie didn’t say anything.  He didn’t know what to say.

            The smile slipped off Barry’s face and he looked where Eddie was looking, at his legs, the inside of his calves, which were across Eddie’s lap.  Barry was lying horizontal on the couch, Eddie sitting up.  Barry shifted and moved his leg over, so the inside of his calf was against Eddie’s thighs.  His eyes raised to where Eddie was now looking at him, completely still.

            “What?”

            Eddie took in a breath.  “I…”

            “What, Eddie?”

            “You have scars on your legs.”

            “Yeah,” Barry said, but he shifted again.  He drew back his legs all the way, and moved so he was sitting upright as well, legs drawn in underneath him, and now he was looking forward, at the TV, not at Eddie.  “I have lots of scars.  Meta humans.  Bike falls.”

            “Those aren’t from meta humans or bike falls.”

            Barry wouldn’t look at Eddie.  He could feel his face getting slightly red, and he fidgeted again.  He didn’t say anything.

            “Barry.”

            Eddie was shifting over and Barry turned.  He couldn’t look at him.  Eddie reached out a hand towards his leg and Barry flinched, pulling them back so his feet were on the ground, out of reach.

            “Did you cut yourself?”

            Barry didn’t answer.  He looked at the TV.  “Please stop, Eddie.”  He closed his eyes.  He didn’t want to lie, didn’t think he could lie again to Eddie, not after the Flash. 

            “You cut yourself.”  It wasn’t a question anymore. 

            Barry didn’t say anything.

            “Can I see?  Please?”

            “No.”  Barry ran a hand over his leg self-consciously.  He hadn’t even thought about it when he put his legs over Eddie’s lap.  They weren’t very noticeable, had faded a lot.  It must have been the sun – when he tanned they stuck out more.  They were small to begin with – it had never really been an issue to hide them.

            “Barry.”

            “Eddie,” Barry said, and his voice was a sigh, a strain.  He didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want to have this conversation.  “Please, leave it.”

            “I am not going to leave it, Barry.”  There was an edge to his voice, and he moved closer to Barry.  But Barry didn’t want to explain again, didn’t want to go over it, didn’t want to have Eddie cry or for Barry to break down and cry – he just wanted to enjoy a nice night with his boyfriend and watch TV and maybe have sex before bed and then fall asleep cuddling because Eddie’s arms around him was maybe just his favorite thing in the whole world.  He didn’t want to have to rehash the whole conversation again, and he didn’t have the energy to summon the fake humor it required to convince people he was actually OK.

            There was a long silence, and then Eddie spoke again, softly.  “Bar, please talk to me.”

            Barry let out a huff.  “It’s not a big deal,” he said, “it wasn’t a big deal then, it’s not a big deal now.  They’re years old, Eddie.  It’s over.”

            And he didn’t want to go back.  He didn’t want to have to explain, to think through the whole thing again.  He wanted to move on.

            Eddie kissed the side of his head, and Barry was not expecting it at all.  His lips trailed over to his mouth and Barry kissed him back.  Eddie’s hand had snaked down, and was now tracing over one of his legs.

            “Will you tell me about it sometime?” Eddie asked, “sometime when you’re upset, and you want to talk?  Will you tell me and let me help?”

            “I don’t want to talk about it,” Barry said softly.  His voice changed, though, a bit firmer, a bit harder. “I don’t get upset like that anymore.  I don’t need you to save me from myself, Eddie.”

            “I know that,” Eddie said, and he kissed him again, his hand still trailing over the skin of his leg, the inside of his calve where the scar tissue had piled on top of scar tissue, thin little lines that had burnt out the nerves until Barry barely felt anything at all when he scraped or cut it on something now.  Eddie’s hand was just a ghost over his skin, he could barely feel it.  “I’m not going to save you.”  And he smirked against Barry’s lips.  “You’re the hero, remember?  I’m just the detective.”  He kissed down Barry’s jaw, moving over, suddenly straddling him.  “And I want to learn, and understand.”

            Barry pulled away, head down, hanging low.  “I’ll tell you sometime,” he said softly.

            Eddie nodded slow, and then kissed him.  “When you want to talk,” Eddie said.

            “I don’t really feel like talking right now,” Barry said, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

            Eddie’s was a grin.  “I don’t think I do either,” he said, and he kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for Reading! I wanted to write something about self harm and what happens afterwards, because no one ever really talks about that. Plus I'm a little sick of the whole this person is spiraling and whoa magic new person saved this person and whoa they're in a relationship bla bla bla - (not that there's anything wrong with that as long as person B isn't the be all end all) so something different, anyway. (Plus I love these two.) Please tell me what you think! :)


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